When the bride and groom disagree on whether someone should be invited or not.
Day 38: Peace, be still. Someone I know just got uninvited to the wedding of a mutual friend.
The reason has now caused a split in the friend group, pitting one side against the husband. There’s friction between the bride — and the friends who are no longer attending the wedding in support of the one who is uninvited.
What a mess! This is the Demon Spotting code word, Baby Jane, on full blast.
When a Baby Jane Attack is raging, absolute chaos happens in relationships. The damage done in this situation may never be repaired.
Maybe that’s okay. Some friendships aren’t meant to follow you into a new marriage.
But hey, it still stings.
Maintaining peace in the face of disagreement. Uh, can someone else have that job please?
How do you maintain peace and allow God’s light to shine through you in the face of wedding melt-downs?
Today’s homework for ACIM lesson 38 contains a challenge built for this situation.
“In the situation involving ___________ in which I see myself, there is nothing that my holiness (innocence) cannot do.“
“In the situation involving ___________ in which ___________ sees herself, there is nothing my holiness (innocence) cannot do.“
Okay, well let’s put that to the test.
According to generally accepted practices around wedding etiquette, presenting a united front and protecting the peace are the main objectives for the couple to sort through. If one person gets visibly upset over someone on the list, then that person cannot come and should be uninvited.
The wedding planners advise that it’s important to be kind and to tell the truth in such a way as to leave the person’s feelings intact.
In the presence of two Skunks, The Eddie and The Baby Jane, peace evaporates.
And another Demon Spotting code word pops up, the Eddie Attack. Apparently, my friend, the bride, didn’t handle the situation well. Now, the story is spreading. And people are taking sides.
And even though, the bride did the right thing (according to wedding etiquette — someone has to be the deciding factor — and the wedding planners know what’s up — no Bridezilla, please!), the bride looks like the Skunk in this situation.
When she dropped the bomb and did the uninviting, she sprayed herself — and the other person — with stinkiness that lingers. Ugh!
But wait — there’s more! The uninvited guest spread the story about why she was uninvited, causing the friend group to split into opposing factions (the Eddie).
That is what someone in Skunk position has the authority to do.
Two Skunks, spraying each other. The chaos caused by the spraying? That’s the Baby Jane move in action.
Find firm footing first (position). Then, stand your ground to preserve the peace.
Let’s move on to some emotional jiu-jitsu or verbal jiu-jitsu, if you prefer.
For me to feel safe in this conversation, I first sought help from the experts — the wedding planners. Once I had that answer, I leaned into their advice for support. That is the hard ground I’m standing on. Anyone who disagrees isn’t disagreeing with me. They disagree with wedding etiquette.
That’s fine. It’s no longer an issue for me.
The reason that was given for rescinding the invitation is really none of my business. I’m not choosing sides on that issue.
And if you choose to stop being friends with me because I don’t agree with you?
Then as they say in the south, “Don’t let the front door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!”
The Demon Spotting Code Word Randomizer
Next, I went to my Demon Spotting Randomizer app, and I chose three words that seemed to fit this situation:
- Skunk Position: person with authority to make a decision, and to spray you, if offended.
- The Eddie: insiders vs outsiders
- Baby Jane: disruption and chaos
I created a summary sentence combining the definitions of the three code words. Then, I reworked the sentence until it made sense to me. Once I felt peace, I was decided and determined. I had a place to stand.
My Summary Sentence: To avoid any further disruption or chaos, I’ve made a decision to stand in a peaceful place (neutral ground), ensuring the days leading up to the wedding are free from further conflict.
That way, Holy Spirit can shine through me. He can help me to squash any skirmishes within the friend group as we all adjust to the new boundaries surrounding this couple.
ACIM Lesson 38 Homework Assignment
And to bring this back to the ACIM assignment, my summary sentence is the demonstration of my homework for Lesson 38.
ACIM Lesson 38 homework: In the situation involving Julie’s wedding, in which I see myself, there is nothing my innocence cannot do because the power of God lies in it.
The homework places innocence as the active force in the situation. Not someone’s opinion or choosing sides.
Holiness/innocence is what holds the neutral ground — and it holds neutral space for everyone. That includes the bride and groom, and even the uninvited friend.
I’m holding peace in a chaotic situation without being consumed by it.
“In the situation involving the bride uninviting the guest, in which she sees herself, there is nothing my innocence cannot do because the power of God lies in it.”
My peaceful position — not adding to the chaos, not choosing sides — actually protects the bride even though she’ll never know it.
Jesus is speaking, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled. Neither let them be afraid."
John 14:27 NIV
The Randomizer: Solve the puzzles in your relationships
Would you like to spin the Demon Spotting Randomizer to solve a problem in your relationship?
Click here: Spin to Play! Demon Spotting Randomizer
A Course in Miracles (ACIM), Lesson 38 video
After listening to today’s ACIM video lesson, take a look at the YouTube video description section. Lots of free (and paid) resources and classes taught by Nouk and Coreen are listed there.
There is nothing my holiness cannot do. ACIM Lesson 38
A Course In Miracles (ACIM): Workbook Lesson 38 (full text – free to read)
Gwyneth Ragsdale is the creator of Demon Spotting™ and founder of DramaGuru Academy. In 2017, Jesus urged her to walk away from New Age practices. With Holy Spirit’s guidance, she built a practical framework for spiritual warfare — revealing the patterns of demons who interfere with you and your loved ones.
Demon Spotting is designed to help you discern whose voice you’re following.
Following God’s voice leads to forgiveness.
Listening to demons lands you in sticky traps.
To learn how to escape those traps, please come and find me.
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