Humility and Surrender vs Prideful and Stubborn
Day 28: Surrender is not one of my favorite words. Consequently, I get a headache when the conversation reaches a point where Holy Spirit says, “Surrender.”
You’d think I’d know by now to just surrender, when he asks (tells, requests, orders) me to submit. But no, for me, it is either stubbornness or surrender.
Holy Spirit only says it once. And my reaction is always the same. I pause as I pretend to think about it. Then with a frown, I act like it’s an imposition. I exhale with a heavy sigh until finally, when my arsenal of theatrics runs out, I say, “Yes, I surrender.”
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for your patience.
And yes, in case you are wondering, I am just as stubborn with Jesus. I am happy to wrestle with him until I reach the point of exhaustion with my questioning, disagreeing and arrogance. As if there’s ever a time when I will know what’s in my own best interest.
Jesus has the point of view needed to take good care of me and to give me excellent guidance.
AI Definition: Stubbornness is an unyielding, pride-driven refusal to change course, often masking a reliance on self-control. In contrast, surrender is a conscious, humble choice to release the need for control and to trust in a higher purpose or reality.
While stubbornness creates rigidity, surrender brings peace and relief.
ACIM Lesson 28: Surrender and see things from a new perspective
The passages below from today’s ACIM Lesson 28 made more sense to me when I exchanged the word, “relationship” for the word “table”. As a result of making that adjustment, I felt my tension rise. Yet again, quite the opposite of surrender.
ACIM Lesson 28: “When you say, ‘Above all else, I want to see this table [relationship] differently,’ you are making a commitment to withdraw your perceived ideas about the table [relationship] and open your mind to what it is, and what it is for. You are not defining it in past terms. You’re asking what it is, rather than telling it what it is.
[Not only that, but] you’re not binding its meaning to your own tiny experience of tables [relationships], nor are you limiting its purpose to your little personal thoughts.”
Surrender early or get rag-dolled around the mat.
Sometimes, I feel like Jesus is doing judo with my point of view. He flips me over and down to the mat, then asks me, “How does it look from there? Different?”
Of course, it looks different. I’m in a new position. Some things are no longer visible. I’ve had a journey through the air. Hopefully, I took action to arrange my arms and hips to absorb the impact when I hit the mat. And from this new position on my back, I hope I have a plan for how to react to whatever move Jesus makes next.
It’s important to note that I don’t think of Jesus as my opponent. Instead, he is my teacher.
In order to respond well, I took classes and I practiced the moves. Which means I got rag-dolled around the jiu-jitsu mat a lot. I had the bruises to show for it. As a result, I learned how to land when someone judo flips me to the ground or bowls me over with a wrestling move.
Surrender and humility work together to prevent injury. Staying relaxed, I can adjust and search for a way to escape. Once I’m free, then I can set up my own attack to advance my position.
When you’re wrestling with the Master, if you show tension or fear, you will fail. Those stiff emotions only exist in the River of Shame. Jesus wrestles with you until you submit and join him in the River of Grace.
So, you might be wondering what me and the Holy Spirit were wrestling about. Well, I’m still feeling compliant and not too eager about the new assignment Spirit gave me. So, I will wait until tomorrow to reveal his 30-day challenge and what it is about.
Although, I shouldn’t complain since I am the one saying to him, “Above all else, I want to see things differently.”
Wrestling with God: Surrender or Pay the Price!
Context: Angels of God were sent to protect Jacob from his brother Esau. While they are waiting, a wrestling match happens that starts at night and ends at daybreak.
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But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a Man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the Man saw that he couldn’t get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately threw Jacob’s hip out of joint.
The Man said, “Let me go. It’s daybreak.”
Jacob said, "I’m not letting you go ’til you bless me."
The Man said, “What’s your name?”
He answered, “Jacob.”
The Man said, “But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on, it’s Israel (God-Wrestler). You’ve wrestled with God, and you’ve come through.”
Jacob asked, “And what’s your name?”
The Man said, “Why do you want to know my name?”
And then, right then and there, he [the Man] blessed him.
Jacob named the place Peniel (God’s Face). "Because," he said, “I saw God face-to-face and lived to tell the story!"
The sun came up as he left Peniel, limping because of his hip. (This is why the Israelites to this day don’t eat the hip muscle. Because Jacob’s hip was thrown out of joint.)
Genesis 32:24-32 MSG
Read this for more info about me and my martial arts experience. How did physical fight analysis shift into verbal fight analysis?
Surrender. Be willing to see.
Humility looks like changing your point of view, from what you think you know, to asking, “What am I not seeing? What’s in my blind spot?”
When you view life from the River of Shame, you only see what the ego wants you to see. However, from the River of Grace, you see with clarity because Jesus shows you something new about old situations that you missed the first time around.
Curiosity lives in the River of Grace. Arrogance lives in the River of Shame because you think you already know everything (ego).
ACIM Lesson 28: “When you have seen one thing differently, you will see all things differently. The light [grace] you will see in any one of them is the same light you will see in them all.”
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror. But then, we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete. But then, I will know everything completely. Just as God now knows me completely.
1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT
A Course in Miracles (ACIM), Lesson 28 video
Above all else, I want to see things differently. ACIM Lesson 28
A Course In Miracles (ACIM): Workbook Lesson 28 (full text – free to read)
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Disclaimer for quotes: I use an AI tool to capture quotes. It corrects grammar as people are speaking. Why? It’s very annoying. But, it is quick. And the relevance of the quote isn’t changed. What do you think? Are these robots a help or a hindrance? Only time will tell.
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