Day 15: My friend, Lori, passed away today. It all happened too fast. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer 7 weeks ago. That was the week of Thanksgiving.
I started grieving as soon as I heard that her sister passed away, from the same thing, 20 years ago.
Lori died at 63 years of age. She was so close to making it to 64 in March. But, it was her time to go.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask. And, I am so glad I didn’t ask them.
So, why didn’t prayer work for Lori?
Listening to church people over the last 8 years, I often hear that their prayers are answered. There are so many stories about people coming back to life after devastating car crashes or situations that throw the person into a coma.
Many people prayed for Lori, but to no avail. On the surface, it looks like Lori was taken too soon. She left behind valuable assets, which all flow to her niece now.
However, based on how fast the cancer was spreading, everyone who knew her said that they were glad she left when she did. Prolonging her life just meant more suffering. The cancer spread to her lungs. And that is how her story ends.
My thoughts are images that I have made. ACIM Lesson 15
Over the years, Lori and I found a narrow conversational track that we vibed on. We were very different from each other.
But now, since she passed away, I’m grieving and realizing that I shared a deep bond of trust with her.
While she was alive, I didn’t think about what changed in our friendship. If I’m honest, Lori sometimes got on my nerves. Her humor was sometimes NSFW. Yet somehow, we got used to each other. We adjusted. And that trust bond was legit.
The best thing I can say about Lori is that she was loyal. That 6-foot tall woman had my back. And that’s saying something. In my lifetime, I’ve only known a few people who would back me up like that. No questions asked.
When respect is missing, bonding is impossible.
I believe respect is built over time, combined with experience.
And that is also true in the case of your relationship with your Heavenly Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. The lack of respect prevents you from generating a relationship with Team Trinity.
My advice: Pick one from Team Trinity — Father, Son and Holy Ghost — and get busy talking and praying. Look for someone you can forgive. And don’t forget to forgive yourself too.
What if you don’t get the ‘right’ answer from God when you pray? Actually, it is an answer to your prayer even if you don’t agree.
To argue with God about something that he has already decided in the Courts of Heaven, is a distraction. We don’t have the same point of view as Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. From your position, you can only see what you understand. Move on! Do what he says. Follow his advice.
You always have a choice. In my grief, I might have shouted at God for letting this happen to Lori.
But I didn’t. I held back my shouting and pulled Holy Spirit and Jesus closer to me.
I claim a victory here indicating how much I’ve changed. For Lori, my prayers included me saying, “Thy will be done.” That is a line from The Lord’s Prayer, Matthew 6:10.
Are you still angry with God?
Coreen Walson said this on the ACIM Lesson 15 video (below), “How about we give God a break and just give him a blank slate and say, ‘God, I don’t know. But I’m so curious about what is there. I want your knowing. I want to know with you’.”
Or you can continue to hold a grudge against God.
Of course, one day, someone is going to challenge you saying something like “Are you still angry with God? How is that working out for you?”
If you check Nouk and Coreen’s Gap Diagram, it makes sense that cancer lives in the busy mind space.
In fact, all illness lives there. Because God didn’t create illness.
Pain and suffering is the fuel that powers the busy, Split Mind.
Furthermore, if God didn’t create the split mind, who created it, and then perpetuated it? The further we stray from him, the more chaotic our lives become.
Pain and suffering is the fuel that powers the busy, Split Mind. Carve out some space to converse, get guidance and pray with Jesus, Holy Spirit or your Heavenly Father. Their advice is good. Based on their vantage point, they see where you’re heading. Allow them to stop you and redirect you.
Spend more time in the Unified Mind space. Peace and love live here.
A Course in Miracles (ACIM), Lesson 15 (video)
Avoiding Guilt (video time stamp 8:39-10:46): Avoid guilt or self-condemnation when recognizing that your thoughts create images. This recognition is an empowering step, as it allows the thought to be forgiven and released to the Holy Spirit for correction and healing. AI summary
But first, you have to invite Holy Spirit to assist and guide you. To begin, especially if praying is new to you, just start a conversation. Leave pauses or blank spaces to allow Spirit to reveal a new thought to you.
My thoughts are images that I have made. ACIM Lesson 15
A Course In Miracles: Lesson 15 (read the lesson here).
Disclaimer for quotes: I use an AI tool to capture quotes. It corrects grammar as people are speaking. Why? It’s very annoying. But, it is quick. And the relevance of the quote isn’t changed. So, what do you think? Are these robots a help or a hindrance? Only time will tell.
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