The Eddie Attack is a Demon Spotting Code Word meaning someone (or a group of people) wants to isolate you from the herd (your family, co-workers, or friends). They act like they have superior position and permission to make you an outsider. The bully pits one person against another, and then stands back to watch and see what happens. This is a classic example of passive-aggressive behavior and it is evil.
The Eddie Attack is so common, people often start their conversations with it to push you back on your heels immediately. Their objective is to weaken your confidence, make you doubt yourself and cause you to be ineffective: silent, confused and fighting uphill.
On Psych Central, Darius Cikanavicius explains the benefits of triangulating (doing The Eddie). “Within the vast catalogue of toxic behavior, triangulation is amongst the most well-known. It is very common, especially among narcissistically inclined individuals, and can be overt, or insidious. Many people don’t even realize they have been triangulated until it is too late.
Indeed, those who regularly manipulate others will resort to triangulation because it is an easy, low cost, but high yield behavior.“ Triangulation: The Narcissists Best Play, Psych Central
Low cost and high yield. Big bang for your buck. Works perfectly every time. Sounds awesome…except for the fact that it’s toxic and terrible.
Defend against The Eddie Attack and improve your position (regain your confidence)
Every attack has a defensive move that blocks it.
Quite simply, when someone starts the Eddie by isolating you and making you feel small — usually with insults (The Grandiose Attack), take a deep breath, ignore the insult and get someone on your side. As in, “Oh yeah? Well, so-and-so agrees with me. So, I’m not as alone as you think I am.”
Please do not escalate by responding with an insulting tone or torrent of words. Spouting, “Eff you!” just makes things worse. And that’s what makes this attack so easy. We don’t think before we speak. We instinctively fight back and we slide deeper into the trap.
To foil the Eddie Attack takes practice. Luckily, people do it so often, you’ll have lots of opportunities to try different ways of regaining your confidence. Your first move should be recognizing that The Eddie is in play.
When your heart sinks, doubt enters the picture. You hold your breath or you feel anger because you’ve been disrespected. In that moment, you should put on your cornerman hat and call the play, “Eddie Attack!”
Life is just one long, never ending game. Our personal game ends when we die, of course.
Don’t take the bait by trading insults!
Engaging draws you deeper into the trap.
Just exit the conversation as soon as you can. Nothing you do or say will change the other person’s point of view. Don’t waste your time.
By the way, it’s not just other people working The Eddie, you do it too. At all times, I will encourage you to work on your own behavior first. Change your habits and allow other people to adjust to the new you.
Patience is required
Normalizing pulling people towards you, instead of pushing them back with your manipulations and insults, will change your life and improve all of your relationships.
Eventually, you’ll spend a lot less time with people who isolate you, belittle you and crush your confidence. You’ll be happier by subtracting bullies (even grandma bullies) from your social circle.
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you [gaslighting]. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.”
Jill Blakeway
Your Therapist calls The Eddie Attack ‘Triangulation’
“Triangulation: This is when the narcissist [bully, rude person, jerk, etc.] recruits another person to side with them to support their endeavors in harming the victim.
This is most often done as a form of punishing the victim for not doing what’s expected of them…” Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD by Linda HIll (on my Kindle app, page 15 of 359)
I prefer calling it The Eddie.
Calling this triangulation attack by a code word makes me feel like I have power to respond instead of feeling like a victim.
There’s two kinds of people in the world. Heroes and victims. I never want to be the victim.
Seems like victims don’t have a move or a response because no one taught them what to do when someone treats them unkindly.
There are degrees and layers to this conversation. In my DramaGuru Academy, I teach from white belt to black belt cases. The risks increase with the belt levels. Practice makes perfect. Study with me and you’ll know what to do when the bully strikes.
The Triangle Choke in Jiu Jitsu
In jiu jitsu, I learned a move called the triangle that is dropped on your opponent when he is dominant position on top and you are fighting on your back.
When a person says things that exclude you or make you feel less than, they are verbally putting the squeeze on you — without your permission. It’s disorienting. Your opponent takes you out before you even realize you are under attack.
Jiu jitsu fighters give each other permission to attempt to put strangle holds on them.
We have an honor code. When someone taps, you let go.
Tap out! Surrender with honor. Walk away from people who constantly treat you with contempt. Their lack of respect is their problem, not yours. Their behavior comes from an unhealthy emotional space.
If you are the one making people feel this way, just stop. Bullying is not attractive.
“The angle makes the strangle.” Johan Lorentzon
Demon Spotting is Elegant (Verbal) Self Defense
This quote illustrates the frame surrounding this game of Demon Spotting. “Remember, the beauty of Jiu-Jitsu [Demon Spotting] lies in the details. Every grip, every angle, every breath counts. Keep practicing. Keep refining. And make each move your own.” Phil Migliarese
What I learned in jiu jitsu shows up in my Demon Spotting tactics. Every word, expression and yes, even your breathing, sends a message that helps to spot and block bad behavior. Gain self-respect when you stop falling into The Eddie Trap.
Photo Credit: Woman with puzzled WTF expression by Ron Lach
DramaGuru Academy is here to teach you how to navigate the situations in your life. Through Demon Spotting lessons, we reveal the patterns of any demon who is interfering with you and your loved ones. We show you how to stare those demons down as you advance confidently from the First Heaven, through the Second Heaven, towards the Third Kingdom of Heaven.
Pingback: Warrior Prayer to Combat Networks of Witchcraft - Demon Spotting
Pingback: Witches practice attacking more than we practice defending - Demon Spotting
Comments are closed.