Finding a toehold: a tiny advance (or opening) that supports your goal.
Day 17: A toehold is neutral until you add your experience with creating openings to it. For instance, when you have successfully created an opening that allows you to start a conversation with someone, that’s a positive toehold experience.
The negative toehold experience happens when someone barges in and attempts to dominate the conversation in order to gain the attention of the group. I shared an example of that in yesterday’s ACIM Lesson 16 Daily Reflection.
A neutral toehold experience is an empty space where you can hear something new. Like the voice of Jesus or the Holy Spirit, for example. If you allow a gap, just a moment in time, to listen for help from the Unified Mind space, then you’ll hear a better answer than your usual response.
By contrast, most people don’t need help coming up with answers in the Split Mind space.
I see no neutral things because I have no neutral thoughts. ACIM Lesson 17
Yesterday, I shared about a woman trying to verbally smack the smile off my face as I stepped into the elevator (or the lift, as I sometimes call it). Everyone in the lift was on holiday and presumably having a good time. Except her.
That generic woman made an aggressive move to establish a negative toehold by “putting me on the back foot.” Her loud, dismissive tone carried more weight than her “fighting on the playground” words.
When kids are playing together, it’s not unusual to hear them argue about nothing saying, “Yes, it is!” and “No, it’s not!”
Cornerman Advice: If you’re still arguing like that, and you consider yourself grown up, now would be a good time to break that habit.
Create a negative toehold by putting someone on the back foot.
Here’s an AI definition to give context to the expression, “Put me on the back foot”:
To put me on the back foot means to force me into a defensive, disadvantaged, or vulnerable position. The opponent hopes to cause me to react without thinking, drawing me further into danger.
Originating from sports like boxing or cricket, it describes being off-balance and forced to defend against an attack.
Key aspects of being on the back foot include:
- Reduced Confidence: The feeling of being “on the ropes” or having your confidence rattled.
- Defensive Stance: Feeling threatened, vulnerable, or forced to react to unexpected problems.
- Disadvantage: Being outmaneuvered, outclassed, or in a weaker position compared to an opponent.
Take a risk! Stop creating a negative toehold with strangers and the people around you.
Back to the generic woman in the lift story, I recognized the dominating tone in her voice because I’ve heard it before (the past) from my own mouth.
At that moment, I only heard the past. ACIM lesson 8: My mind is preoccupied with past thoughts.
I’ve used that tone myself many times. And when I spoke from the busy, Split Mind space, my intentions were designed to match the definition listed above.
It only took a few seconds for this uncomfortable interaction to take place. But like road rage on the highway, things can get dangerous quickly. I chose to stay calm and ignore her.
My ego encourages me to compete for the sake of competing. Defining a loved one as an opponent to compete with, exhausts me or fuels my anger. Either way, it falls into Split Mind zone.
The ego is a chameleon. It changes to match whatever is needed for you to let your guard down and follow bad advice.
For Demon Spotters, the Split Mind zone is called the River of Shame.
The ego is a disloyal, two-timer who shows you no respect. Demons, witches, ego, whichever word works for you. They all wreak havoc and destroy your peace and serenity.
Cornerman Advice: When respect is missing, bonding is impossible. Compliance (obedience) is not the same thing as respect. It’s the difference between “have to” and “want to”.
Meanwhile, Holy Spirit is patiently waiting in the River of Grace (otherwise known as the Unified Mind space), for you to invite him in. Take a risk and create a neutral toehold, a small opening for Spirit to greet you.
Work with Holy Spirit, not against him. Let him show you how to loosen your grip on the past.
A Course in Miracles (ACIM), Lesson 17 video
I see no neutral things. ACIM Lesson 17
A Course In Miracles (ACIM): Workbook Lesson 17 (full text – free to read)
Disclaimer for quotes: I use an AI tool to capture quotes. It corrects grammar as people are speaking. Why? It’s very annoying. But, it is quick. And the relevance of the quote isn’t changed. So, what do you think? Are these robots a help or a hindrance? Only time will tell.
DramaGuru Academy is here to teach you how to navigate the situations in your life. Through Demon Spotting lessons, we reveal the patterns of any demon who is interfering with you and your loved ones. We show you how to stare those demons down as you advance confidently from the First Heaven, through the Second Heaven, towards the Third Kingdom of Heaven.
